You can't actually get rid of paraphilia, can you?

You can't actually get rid of paraphilia, can you? And I mean actual paraphilia, not fetishes that are acquired through watching porn and could dissipate on their own. I was preparing to use actual magic to try to tackle this problem in my life, but then I was hit with a wave of "this won't actually change anything about me" and like it would be wasted effort, and everything I'm doing just felt pointless and like it doesn't matter what I do

I'm not even 30, I'm not prepared to live the rest of my life having to cope with extreme mental illness and self loathing from sexual things that are apparently beyond my control. I'm not saying I have no future, but I see no future and I have no rudder. I don't know what to do now.

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  1. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    try jacking off

  2. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    embrace it, like my friend in /d/

  3. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    > paraphilia
    Be more specific..
    Getting rid of sexual desire is like saying you want to get rid of the need to breath air or eat food

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      There's no nice way to say this, tldr I "want" to get fricked by animals and hurt, abused, and k highly suspect I have these problems because of things that happened to me when I was a kid.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        besides the animal thing, the other stuff can be engaged in safely. You could also try the non animal stuff in a non sexual way too if it's the sex you're worried about. there's non sexual bdsm that people don't really talk about but it's kinda common. A lot of the time satisfying a masochistic or sadistic psyche can be done in a safe and nonsexual way.

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          Not OP but can you go more into non sexual bdsm? And how do you find people into that since it doesn't actually get into sex? There are some dynamics that would be fun to play out irl (without anything physically intimate) but it never really comes up in day to day life

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      NTA but I do want to get rid of the need to breathe air and eat food

  4. 1 week ago
    Is this a curse?

    I was just considering writing down my fricked up, seemingly demonic paraphilias. Huh.
    Will take it as a “do it homosexual” from Fortuna, or smt like that.
    Ok, /x/, “listen”:
    After a accident at age 8, I slowly started having 4 strange (I mean it) paraphilic fantasies out of fricking nowhere. All starting not by porn, but from dream imagery. I was a weird, lousy sperg (diagnosed) kid and also very innocent, I thought they were just weird dreams and didn’t know hornyness was a thing ‘till then.
    I try to cope by pretending they don’t exist, and since them I had long periods of insomnia, after I started taking 1mg of risperidal they were gone, but I developed a weird view of sex.
    If you guys read about it, could you perhaps tell me what kind of influence inspired them? They feel demonic.
    I have never written or talked about them, not even to my ex or “therapist”. Something horrible happened to me recently and I’m trying to become a dignified individual by my own merit.
    I hope that, by writing it down, they will become something outter from myself. It’s appalling and cliché, but hey, supposedly it’s better than keep repressing it, right…?
    (1/2)

    • 1 week ago
      Is this a curse?

      I named them as:
      >futa’s happy nursery
      Basically, I’m a futa and take care of imbecile young adult woman acting like toddlers. Eventually, I snap out and torture them. As they die, I’m either pregnant thanks to parthenogenesis/magic or forced to see other people (which I lather kill) torturing children whom I feel (in-dream) are “mine”.
      I hate this disgusting fantasy, I find caretaking abdl, toddlercon and infant torture pathetic and horrid fetishes, and I hate that they are my main kink.
      >”silver garden”
      Basically, I watch human or humanoid being trapped in a perfect garden. Like in Hesiod’s silver age myth, man are eternal toddler and are taken care off by comunal mothers. In my “unasked fantasy”, at random these toddlers snap and experience clarity (sometimes at once in others individually) and then have panic episodes as they start to speak and age at a extremely quick timelapse.
      They then rape their mothers, which makes them snap back into a normal mental state. If they don’t die in combat or accident they just keep aging fast ‘till withering as ancients.
      >kali’s domain
      Basically I turn into a woman, grow to have psychic powers and destroy civilization out of pure sadism, torturing people at random then curing diseases, starting nuclear holocausts, etc. In some of these dreams I pretend to die/disappear and then return years or centuries lather to find the societies sprung from my wicked rampage. Then I just do it all again.
      These Kali ones are the most interesting, but they give a literal sore feeling and make me sick the day after.
      >4th
      Better left unsaid.
      (2/2)

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        https://i.imgur.com/RfKeQ4h.jpeg

        I was just considering writing down my fricked up, seemingly demonic paraphilias. Huh.
        Will take it as a “do it homosexual” from Fortuna, or smt like that.
        Ok, /x/, “listen”:
        After a accident at age 8, I slowly started having 4 strange (I mean it) paraphilic fantasies out of fricking nowhere. All starting not by porn, but from dream imagery. I was a weird, lousy sperg (diagnosed) kid and also very innocent, I thought they were just weird dreams and didn’t know hornyness was a thing ‘till then.
        I try to cope by pretending they don’t exist, and since them I had long periods of insomnia, after I started taking 1mg of risperidal they were gone, but I developed a weird view of sex.
        If you guys read about it, could you perhaps tell me what kind of influence inspired them? They feel demonic.
        I have never written or talked about them, not even to my ex or “therapist”. Something horrible happened to me recently and I’m trying to become a dignified individual by my own merit.
        I hope that, by writing it down, they will become something outter from myself. It’s appalling and cliché, but hey, supposedly it’s better than keep repressing it, right…?
        (1/2)

        Have you ever had any experiences with psychic abilities? Where you in any advanced type classes or programs as a child? It sounds like these could be artificially implanted and/or screen memories

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        What is your relationship like with your mother?

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          I recently discovered that my deceased half-aunt is my real mother. Nobody cared to tell me. The woman who raised me clearly doesn’t like much the results of her good work.

          [...]

          Are you being serious

          I am.

          https://i.imgur.com/mWnQnnh.jpeg

          [...]
          Have you ever had any experiences with psychic abilities? Where you in any advanced type classes or programs as a child? It sounds like these could be artificially implanted and/or screen memories

          Yes.
          In fact the same year of said accident H.Em Kunzig Shamar (rip) started the process that recognized me as a Tulku. I was also in a TAG program at the 1st year of elementary school.
          Don’t recall being hypnotized, trauma-induced or diddled, but it would explain a thing or too.

          https://i.imgur.com/zKyPTb8.jpeg

          I named them as:
          >futa’s happy nursery
          Basically, I’m a futa and take care of imbecile young adult woman acting like toddlers. Eventually, I snap out and torture them. As they die, I’m either pregnant thanks to parthenogenesis/magic or forced to see other people (which I lather kill) torturing children whom I feel (in-dream) are “mine”.
          I hate this disgusting fantasy, I find caretaking abdl, toddlercon and infant torture pathetic and horrid fetishes, and I hate that they are my main kink.
          >”silver garden”
          Basically, I watch human or humanoid being trapped in a perfect garden. Like in Hesiod’s silver age myth, man are eternal toddler and are taken care off by comunal mothers. In my “unasked fantasy”, at random these toddlers snap and experience clarity (sometimes at once in others individually) and then have panic episodes as they start to speak and age at a extremely quick timelapse.
          They then rape their mothers, which makes them snap back into a normal mental state. If they don’t die in combat or accident they just keep aging fast ‘till withering as ancients.
          >kali’s domain
          Basically I turn into a woman, grow to have psychic powers and destroy civilization out of pure sadism, torturing people at random then curing diseases, starting nuclear holocausts, etc. In some of these dreams I pretend to die/disappear and then return years or centuries lather to find the societies sprung from my wicked rampage. Then I just do it all again.
          These Kali ones are the most interesting, but they give a literal sore feeling and make me sick the day after.
          >4th
          Better left unsaid.
          (2/2)

          https://i.imgur.com/RfKeQ4h.jpeg

          I was just considering writing down my fricked up, seemingly demonic paraphilias. Huh.
          Will take it as a “do it homosexual” from Fortuna, or smt like that.
          Ok, /x/, “listen”:
          After a accident at age 8, I slowly started having 4 strange (I mean it) paraphilic fantasies out of fricking nowhere. All starting not by porn, but from dream imagery. I was a weird, lousy sperg (diagnosed) kid and also very innocent, I thought they were just weird dreams and didn’t know hornyness was a thing ‘till then.
          I try to cope by pretending they don’t exist, and since them I had long periods of insomnia, after I started taking 1mg of risperidal they were gone, but I developed a weird view of sex.
          If you guys read about it, could you perhaps tell me what kind of influence inspired them? They feel demonic.
          I have never written or talked about them, not even to my ex or “therapist”. Something horrible happened to me recently and I’m trying to become a dignified individual by my own merit.
          I hope that, by writing it down, they will become something outter from myself. It’s appalling and cliché, but hey, supposedly it’s better than keep repressing it, right…?
          (1/2)

          ouch, butchered english there.

          • 1 week ago
            Anonymous

            It's a very dark and highly disturbing rabbit hole but if you really want to know you should look into the secret space program (ssp). Alot of it is centered on occult ritual abuse, especially of children using clone bodies and all kinds of fricked shit like that and what you are describing. Many people who have come out as whistleblowers believe they are higher beings or angels that came to earth in the distant past or more recently (or anytime in the middle time travel and soul contracts are a mess) and they have their souls captured and cut up into pieces then stored in human bodies who think they are living normal-ish lives while another aspect of themselves is being manipulated and enslaved by evil beings who want to use their power for their own ends.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      https://i.imgur.com/zKyPTb8.jpeg

      I named them as:
      >futa’s happy nursery
      Basically, I’m a futa and take care of imbecile young adult woman acting like toddlers. Eventually, I snap out and torture them. As they die, I’m either pregnant thanks to parthenogenesis/magic or forced to see other people (which I lather kill) torturing children whom I feel (in-dream) are “mine”.
      I hate this disgusting fantasy, I find caretaking abdl, toddlercon and infant torture pathetic and horrid fetishes, and I hate that they are my main kink.
      >”silver garden”
      Basically, I watch human or humanoid being trapped in a perfect garden. Like in Hesiod’s silver age myth, man are eternal toddler and are taken care off by comunal mothers. In my “unasked fantasy”, at random these toddlers snap and experience clarity (sometimes at once in others individually) and then have panic episodes as they start to speak and age at a extremely quick timelapse.
      They then rape their mothers, which makes them snap back into a normal mental state. If they don’t die in combat or accident they just keep aging fast ‘till withering as ancients.
      >kali’s domain
      Basically I turn into a woman, grow to have psychic powers and destroy civilization out of pure sadism, torturing people at random then curing diseases, starting nuclear holocausts, etc. In some of these dreams I pretend to die/disappear and then return years or centuries lather to find the societies sprung from my wicked rampage. Then I just do it all again.
      These Kali ones are the most interesting, but they give a literal sore feeling and make me sick the day after.
      >4th
      Better left unsaid.
      (2/2)

      Are you being serious

  5. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Feet aren't that weird, anon

  6. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    I would recommend just, not jerking off to those things anymore.

  7. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    LBRP and then LIRP everyday
    Uncrossing ritual
    Prayers and invocations towards Saturn

    Mercury and Michael invocation followed by Mars followed by sun

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