The Swarm Is Coming..

If you haven't heard yet, trillions of cicadas will emerge from the ground this spring and in multiple states.. all part of a rare "double-brood event" that hasn't happened in over 200 years.

As if being bombarded by trillions of cicadas isn't fricked enough, a large percentage will also be carrying a "zombie sex fungus" that turns them gay and makes their dicks fall off...

"This pathogen has a severe impact on the cicadas, eating away at their abdomens, reproductive organs, and lower body sections and replacing these areas with its own fungal spores."

"What is particularly intriguing is the behavior alteration observed in infected males. The fungus effectively hijacks their controls, leading them to mimic the wing-flicking mating signals typical of female cicadas. This manipulative display lures in healthy males, thereby facilitating the spread of the fungus to new hosts."

They say that fungus can only be transferred between the cicadas themselves, but if that's the case how the frick did they get infected in the first place??

https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2024/apr/17/sex-crazed-zombie-cicadas-infected-with-std-fungus/

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  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I wonder why the media keeps being so excited about this.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      as a kid i loved finding cicadas and picking them up and letting them walk on me and throwing them and such.

      https://i.imgur.com/dFp246m.jpeg

      If you haven't heard yet, trillions of cicadas will emerge from the ground this spring and in multiple states.. all part of a rare "double-brood event" that hasn't happened in over 200 years.

      As if being bombarded by trillions of cicadas isn't fricked enough, a large percentage will also be carrying a "zombie sex fungus" that turns them gay and makes their dicks fall off...

      "This pathogen has a severe impact on the cicadas, eating away at their abdomens, reproductive organs, and lower body sections and replacing these areas with its own fungal spores."

      "What is particularly intriguing is the behavior alteration observed in infected males. The fungus effectively hijacks their controls, leading them to mimic the wing-flicking mating signals typical of female cicadas. This manipulative display lures in healthy males, thereby facilitating the spread of the fungus to new hosts."

      They say that fungus can only be transferred between the cicadas themselves, but if that's the case how the frick did they get infected in the first place??

      https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2024/apr/17/sex-crazed-zombie-cicadas-infected-with-std-fungus/

      >how the frick did they get infected in the first place
      it's a fungus, they evolve pretty quickly. probably
      >fungus finds a nutritional developing cicada lodged in the ground and hitches a ride
      >over generations makes this its whole personality

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        You VVILL injest the spores and you VVILL listen to 3 hour long Terrance McKenna podcast.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      they make sure normies have nothing but negative views

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Wasn't this supposed to happen on the 8th? Still waiting. Nothing ever happens.

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Sounds like witch tales if am honest with you

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    What the frick did you just fricking say about me, you big b***h? I'll have you know I graduated loudest of my brood in the Cicada Carolers, and I've been involved in numerous years of sleeping in the ground, and I have over 300 confirmed decibels. I am trained in long term orgy choreography and I'm the top screecher in the entire US cicada forces. You are nothing to me but just another wienerblock. I will wake you the frick up with vibrations the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fricking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me before I moult? Think again, fricker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of flies across the USA and your BO is being traced right now so you better prepare for the song, maggot. The song that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your sleep. You're fricking awake, kid. I can screech anywhere, anytime, and I can be heard over seven hundred yards, and that's just with my bare ass. Not only am I extensively trained in solo singing, but I have access to the entire choir of the United States Cicada Corps and I will use it to its full extent to eliminate all silence off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fricking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will scream my horny song all over you and you will drowse in it. You're fricking tired, kiddo.

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    apparently the fungus is psychedelic for humans lol

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Yep with a natural "amphetamine" too..

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Trying to cover up the encephalitis?
        Yeah I'm sure a bunch of these fricks are gonna eat em
        Sucks suppressed immune system and such
        Well too bad we cant agree on what's a man or what's a woman
        So now there is no thing close to truth

        Eat the bugs get horny go on orgy
        Then die

        Idk maybe the fungus came bout all those hormones and chemicals that get on the ground
        Pfftttt

        Brb gotta shit post

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous
  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    My biggest fear as a kid was imagining that cicadas had a queen type of cicada which lives underground and is immense. It's not real but I was a kid and well it was a scary thought at the time.

    Just imagine a giant cicada the size of a Volkswagen golf
    I mean shit dude

    I'd ride it, probably gonna need ear pro

  8. 1 month ago
    Flan

    >As if being bombarded by trillions of cicadas isn't fricked enough, a large percentage will also be carrying a "zombie sex fungus" that turns them gay and makes their dicks fall off...

    >"This pathogen has a severe impact on the cicadas, eating away at their abdomens, reproductive organs, and lower body sections and replacing these areas with its own fungal spores."

    >"What is particularly intriguing is the behavior alteration observed in infected males. The fungus effectively hijacks their controls, leading them to mimic the wing-flicking mating signals typical of female cicadas. This manipulative display lures in healthy males, thereby facilitating the spread of the fungus to new hosts."
    Laaaawl its just like glowBlack folk on EerieWeb

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