Shadow banned irl

Anyone else struggle with connections or feel like Neo in the Matrix at the start of the movie just lost in life looking for meaning? I feel that way now, I just cycle between work and home. I don't talk to anyone outside of work and immediate family. I am a Christian but I haven't been going to church. I struggle to make the jump from acquaintances to friends. I don't know what it is, I'm probably lacking some social skill or there's something else I don't see but I can't build strong connections. I'll give an example, I started at a new job two years ago with multiple others. Over time I've gotten friendly with many of my fellow employees and the ones I was hired with and we make small talk, jokes, etc. Work friends I suppose. Thing is, many of these work friends started texting each other which turned into a regular thing and then they began to hang out outside of work. The process or how that happens is almost a foreign concept to me. I'm not included or invited, although everyone's still friendly at work. What do you guys think it could be? I am kinda autistic, not very expressive, monotone, probably undiagnosed autism or schizoid. It probably shouldn't surprise you that I haven't had much success with women either (only been on two dates with a girl who asked me out, never asked a girl out due to fear/anxiety). Any advice how to open up? I'm fine and comfortable being on my own, I have been for 26 years, but I want to branch out and live life to its fullest. I want to find greater meaning and fulfillment

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  1. 4 weeks ago

    Magnetism. You can cultivate this with a mental change: you're not attracting other people, because you're not like other people.

    Your problem, then, is one of transformation.

    I'd recommend working on self-image through self-hypnosis: track down a copy of Maxwell Maltz's Psycho-Cybernetics - it's available on the pirate libraries.


    • 4 weeks ago

      Nah. OP was just blacklisted by the hivemind for being a Christian. That's all there is to it.
      OP will die alone and miserable.

      • 4 weeks ago

        in case you didn't know, friend
        alone =/= miserable
        i'm sure everybody wanted to know your feelings, though

  2. 4 weeks ago
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    Vegetable oil, for frying

  3. 4 weeks ago

    You want attachments? They just lead to emotional cahootery.

  4. 4 weeks ago

    >doesn't mention family
    I think I found your problem

  5. 4 weeks ago

    Yeup, all the lifetimes I have ever lived bleed over into this one.

  6. 4 weeks ago

    >due to fear/anxiety
    You answered your own question. You lack confidence. Also, due to that fact, I could guess your appearance is not as good as it could be, and that makes a difference in social situations, even in the workspace.
    Good Luck, Anon.

  7. 4 weeks ago

    If I start speaking to much "spiritual truth" usually some low vibration person will become involved and normify the conversation. I do think there are "matrix agents" but it's not a conscious action, more like programming being undone in the collective unconscious, and a collective reaction, just as it would be on the individual level.

    That's my own little thing, however in your case you have to be the action, and you probably always will have to be. People outside of the "normie hivemind" will naturally be othered and left alone. But that doesn't mean there aren't other souls that want to connect with you. The thing is you almost have to treat it like npcs and picking up quests to get the ball rolling. Even once a rapport is developed only the real ones will seek you out. It's up to you to breathe life into the world if you want to see it.

    • 4 weeks ago

      >some low vibration person will become involved and normify the conversation
      Nice Digits! Not OP, but here's a visual representation of the experience you speak of.
      >get back in the bucket!

      • 4 weeks ago

        It really is like that. And don't get me wrong, I don't mind normie conversations, they're fun and not every moment has to be dropping truth bombs. But I swear to you whenever what I'm speaking of happens, it's always when I'm talking to someone receptive and vibing with me, and then the loudest norman with the most banal topic comes in and interrupts in such a way that the previous momentum is more or less impossible to recapture.

        Is this something you experience as well?

        • 4 weeks ago

          I have ways to ward it, and if I choose I can silence the neutralizing element by dismissing his rude attempted insertion into our conversation. Or I can simply pick up the conversation later, but it has happened before.
          It wasn't paranormal conversation, but I was speaking on the topic of material enhancement while fireworks were going off, and this random guy none of us knew came to us out seemingly nowhere and asked what we were talking about, and we all just looked at him as he began speaking about some unrelated everyday subject.
          It was quite comical. No hard feelings, but it was a very on the nose and intentional interruption of the information I was about to convey.
          I know the experience all too well. It would happen in school too, but I can simply stop it by asserting myself in various ways, or wait for another time to bring the subject up again. So it's no longer an issue in most cases.

          • 4 weeks ago

            Let me guess, you're also the sort of person who is incredibly mindful about not interrupting others as a result of years of being interrupted?

          • 4 weeks ago

            Most of the time. Yes. Although I will simply speak if there's something important which must be said.

  8. 4 weeks ago

    I don't know but I feel the same, like the only human contact I have now aside from work is my parents or my sister calling to make sure I haven't killed myself. Been like this since around the end of 2012 when all my friends inexplicably decided at about the same time that they wanted nothing to do with me anymore and I was never able to form relationships like that again, think maybe I died then and went to hell or something.

  9. 4 weeks ago

    maybe it's a good thing you're not attaching to this world very much.

    horizontal spiritual growth is mutually developing with other people. kinda like colonies of mushrooms.
    vertical spiritual growth is developing ones own soul, like roots/branches on a tree.

    it seems to me you just opt for vertical, that's all

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