Paranoia and resentment of consciousness

I am now realizing after meditating, taking psychoactive drugs, and studying nothing science and religion thst I am just awareness piloting a character

>plus I had a vivid experience that my life is fake and VR

But i now resent practically every seemingly conscious entity in existence for ruining what is clearly supposed to be a "fun" experience for me

Other people's wills, even friends, families and lovers, runs COUNTER to my own

Every "bad" moment in my life wasn't God's fault, but usually the fault of a dumb human

Ota gotten so bad that I view life as a cosmic job (even the fun parts)
And interacting with people as a dumb Job I have to do until I reincarnate or ascend

I just don't see people the same as me anymore, they're just flesh obstacles to my Will now.

Am.i going down a dark path?
I have nothing but contempt for people now, not in an edgy way, just in the sense that
>if this life is indeed a conscious experience, then I wish I chose a life where XYZ person never acted this way, never met me, or never existed at all

You humans are too chaotic and frustrating for a tard like me, and I respectfully would like to live with a different species.

Or live I a universe all on my own
Why did I choose this life?

I'm having a crisis where I cannot trust any single person I encounter to truly have my best interests at heart, even family, friends, and to an extent my girlfriend.
They all have the capacity to flip the script, get angry, and act unpredictable

Becuade of this, I want to exchange my species or exist in a universe where I am truly alone and safe from other conscious entities fricking with me.

However I am afraid this might be Luciferian thinking, frick the devil

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  1. 4 weeks ago

    Yah realizing your god experiencing yourself only for the experience to be pretty lame is a hard thing to deal with

    • 4 weeks ago

      yep. i discovered i was god a while back. never felt the same. it all becomes bland and boring because you can literally see the illusion in EVERYTHING.

  2. 4 weeks ago

    What's the cat from picrel from?

    • 4 weeks ago

      Ill answer. Rescue Cat from Yugioh

  3. 4 weeks ago

    everything is gods fault because you are the lens he shines through

    what you think feel and do is what drives his hand to action

    he simply provides even if it is for self destruction

    rip out all your negative subconscious beliefs and reality will start changing

    reality is a warped mirror of god shaped by the lens that is you
    he is the awareness that is piloting you

    technically you are him
    but he is indeed separate

    the only obstacle to your will is within you
    you must change your inner world to change your outer world because that is the thing god is reflecting outwards of you

    that is how you speak to "god"
    look into neville goddards works for more
    he teaches this very nicely

    • 4 weeks ago

      which is to say

      its both you and gods fault

      you provided him the material with which to take action upon
      this is how your entire reality is constructed

      if something is obstructing you it is because something inside is obstructing you and it is expressing outwardly

      this goes on an extremely deep psychological level

      your mind is an entire universe

  4. 4 weeks ago

    >Am.i going down a dark path?
    Just a little bit.

    You've just woken up to this so it's understandable that there's some things you're still not seeing. You're making 1 major mistake that almost everyone is falling for.
    And that's a failure to question the CONTEXT under which you arrive at some of your conclusions.

    For example
    >they're just flesh obstacles to my Will now.
    Why is that? Because you still believe in the rules of a system that allows their will to counteract yours... So you're still binding your soul (binding your will) to others.
    Why don't you question whether things need to be that way?
    Because even if every single person suddenly aligned with your will today, it won't change the fact that someone can oppose it again tomorrow. So if this is a recurring problem then maybe your problem is not actually those people but the SYSTEM which allows the will of others to cause your own will to be violated.

    This also suggests that the entire concept of an "objective reality" is faulty. Being bound to the illusion of an objective reality is the real cause of your problems.
    So in other words... Your problem is your own state of being... You're still dwelling in a state of ignorance, just as we all are. This is the real spiritual battle, and what we must transcend.

  5. 4 weeks ago

    not the only one this is the human condition you're just semi-aware of it now you're in purgatory. either you revert back into normie life and pretend this awakening didnt happen or you realize you're subjective experience is not tantamount importance to any other person, (do you care about others' subjective experience that much?). you might instead look at it as a dynamical system which is commonly referred to as "objective" reality that is, we are living in a world-soul its like a shared dream, an illusion, but still no reason to not care about anything. what im trying to say is there are lots of people who want limited resources and even the ones that get them are not happy. i dont know of a way out of it that doesnt hurt. your body and mind want your attention on you you you but spritually you should consider others needs and feelings as well. if you can do that you might suffer less, or just more predictably at least.

  6. 4 weeks ago

    >I cannot trust any single person I encounter to truly have my best interests at heart
    well obviously
    one of the fundamental lessons of 'Earth' is that any given person will always ultimately only have their own interests at heart; while sometimes some people may hold your interests as high as second to their own, you are delusional if you ever think anyone will ever hold your interests above their own

  7. 4 weeks ago

    >Am.i going down a dark path?
    You're pretty far down a very dark path, Anon, but it's unclear whether you're coming or going.

    Your fault is that you think you are more important than everyone else. We are all in this together, but you seem to think we are all here for YOUR benefit. It never even occurred to you that maybe YOU are here for OUR benefit. You will never ascend until you learn compassion for all the other poor, dumb bastards who are stuck in this sandbox with us.

  8. 4 weeks ago

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