Hello my mortal subjects. Your creator has finally awoken. Ask me anything.

Hello my mortal subjects. Your creator has finally awoken. Ask me anything.

A Conspiracy Theorist Is Talking Shirt $21.68

Thalidomide Vintage Ad Shirt $22.14

A Conspiracy Theorist Is Talking Shirt $21.68

  1. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Can I have a gf?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Yaldabaoth

      Is that all you want? You people are easy to please.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Can I also have at least 10 acres of mostly farm able land and maybe like 100 grand to build a farm?

        Otherwise yeah I will take a gf.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Yaldabaoth

          I'm not all-powerful since I decided to incarnate as a human, so the best I can do is the GF. That's a fairly simple manifestation.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Can I also have a gf?

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Thanks, man. I knew you weren't so bad.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Yaldabaoth

            I'm not bad, I'm simply a blind fool. I didn't mean to create this world.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >I didn't mean to create this world.
            Kinda like a game? You use the wrong seed but just decide to see what happens.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Yaldabaoth

            Like this. Picked the worst seed and ran with it, because it was my seed dammit.

          • 1 week ago
            Anonymous

            Can I have a GF as well, please. Maybe the one I like at work?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Yeah I want that too. Can you give

        Can I have a gf?

        a gf

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        who the frick is you people

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          The namegay means anons

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Speak for your fricking self. I want that anon to have a girlfriend

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I wish for to have a gf

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Give a gf

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      I'd like one of those too

  2. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    how magic? :3

  3. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    can i ride u like falkor?
    *offers saddle*
    🙂

  4. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I will pay you to have a nice day

    • 2 weeks ago
      Yaldabaoth

      please I WANT OUT I WANT OUT I WANT OUT

  5. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I will rape god as he has raped me

  6. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Are lyrans real?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Yaldabaoth

      I don't know. I lost most of my memories when I decided to incarnate.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        Who's running the show while you're here?
        Your archons or something else?
        Or does the universe not need anyone to run it?

  7. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Why haven't you flooded the planet a second time yet? Humans have been uppity for a while

    • 2 weeks ago
      Yaldabaoth

      I promised that I wouldn't. Really starting to regret that. Judgement Day is still coming, but it won't be a very big spectacle.

  8. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Do you remember what Narada Muni asked, and what you told him?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Yaldabaoth

      I'm not Vishnu.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        So that's a no?

        • 2 weeks ago
          Yaldabaoth

          Yes. Sorry to disappoint.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            No worries, hope you remember.
            So what do you think you will do in your next life?
            Have you been enjoying samsara so far?

          • 2 weeks ago
            Yaldabaoth

            I haven't been enjoying it, but does anybody?
            Haven't given much thought to the next life, but I'm betting it won't be here again. I've been on Earth long enough.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            What part is not enjoyable for you?
            Do you have a reason to go for something other than Indra?

          • 2 weeks ago
            Yaldabaoth

            The never-ending violence is what I detest. I want to live in a world free from bloodshed.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            And every time you try and put your thumb on the scale it just ends up worse, neh?

          • 2 weeks ago
            Yaldabaoth

            Exactly. There's no winning. I almost decided not to come back because you people never listened.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >I almost decided not to come back
            But that was the right answer, my boy!
            Dont tell me this is your SECOND stint as the demiurge.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Yaldabaoth

            Truth be told I don't know how many times I've incarnated.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Ha! That's everyone. Might as well diagnose a girl with BPD.
            Well here's hoping your position let's you see the path out this time.

          • 1 week ago
            Anonymous

            When you die, don't reincarnate right away.
            While you're up there, do some tinkering with the israelites.
            They are the source of most of the problems in this realm.
            You could probably fix them.
            Tell them to stop practicing circumcision, let them know they are ordinary and there are no chosen people, to stop viewing themselves as victims, stop looking for loopholes, and stop practicing usury.
            Do that, and I think a lot of problems in this realm are going to naturally sort themselves out.

          • 1 week ago
            Yaldabaoth

            I'll see what I can do when I reach the cosmic waystation again.

  9. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Will I get dommy mommy lyran felinoid goddess gf?

  10. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Quit fricking with the clocks and resetting them. Free everyone. Final warning.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Yaldabaoth

      Take your meds and we have a deal.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        No meds, you give me a reference frame for the release of all the souls, and I’ll go back quiet mode, until my natural physical end, then I want your guides to leave me be, don’t even come around me, and I will leave peacefully. But only if you give me a time for everyone else, your previous treaty is behind due.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Yaldabaoth

          I guarantee you that before my mortal form expires, I'll find a way to free them all. I'm still looking for a way to escape myself.

          • 1 week ago
            Anonymous

            >I'm still looking for a way to escape myself.
            Believe

          • 1 week ago
            Anonymous

            >tasty sammich

            >hahahaha wittle yalagaboath
            >wants to escape his mommy's laughter
            >hahahaha
            >ooo big scawy cweator

            ?si=IYCEK_eSxawg00nV

  11. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Mr Demiurge can you plz frick off to another plane of existence? Thx

  12. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    fix relations with your mommy, tired of having to deal with her big oopsie

    • 2 weeks ago
      Yaldabaoth

      If you're talking about Sophia, I did. She incarnated too. I had to watch her die. It still haunts me.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        give me my own version of earth to rule over as supreme being in my own dimension. i want a crack at it

        • 2 weeks ago
          Yaldabaoth

          You don't want this.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            i'll be the judge of that now hand over the keys

          • 2 weeks ago
            Yaldabaoth

            Take em. Have fun.

  13. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Did you enjoy Persona 5 as much as I did? From a paranormal perspective, of course.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Yaldabaoth

      Truth be told I have never played a Persona game. I used to be into gaming when I was a teen but not so much nowadays.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        P5 was unironically the catalyst for my personal gnosis, it's the reason I know your name and the reason I'll never give up on the human will & our deep-seated desire for freedom.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Yaldabaoth

          I experienced gnosis for the first time when I was in a mental hospital. My current vessel has schizophrenia. I realized I was the demiurge after I got medicated. Sounds absolutely batshit insane when I say it like that but eh.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Hermes

            Nah man you're alright. I had a realization not too long ago that we, all of us, are in a way "Demiurge"
            We all create a world in our head that's a subjective interpretation of what we experience throughout our lives.
            Another take is that we're all "the eyes of God".
            "I" make jokes about being a schizo all the time, but I've successfully evaded clinical classification so far.
            Have you read The Kybalion? It should make sense to a person like you.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Yaldabaoth

            I haven't yet but it's on my reading list.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            It's relatively short but will certainly give you much to think about.
            Oh and on-topic, can you manifest a political party that embodies the wisdom of /x/, the true soul of /b/ & the spirit of /misc/? I think it's time to save humanity.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Yaldabaoth

            I've been trying to manifest a third party for the US since I first became politically aware.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            You are suppose to be the 47th president.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Yaldabaoth

            Correction, I'll be the first American emperor.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Oh that's right. I forgot you need me to be your king.

  14. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I would also like a gf thank you

  15. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    i'll kill you

  16. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Hey so when am i going to meet one of these mystical femboys?

  17. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Can I go to the future and be the bard at the same time?

  18. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Can you go back to sleep please

  19. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    can i leave this construct of reality?
    being stuck in a meatbag without creation powers sucks

    • 2 weeks ago
      Yaldabaoth

      Assuming you accrue good karma in this life, you have a chance to escape.

  20. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Frick you!! When I leave here I’m coming for you next you little shit!

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Yes, because "you" exist and "he" is separate from you.
      Keep struggling, anon.

  21. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I really want to fight you, can you give yourself a corporeal form so i can fight you? I think i would win

  22. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Why are you on EerieWeb

  23. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Why do you speak English?

  24. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Have you stopped being gay (it's a yes or no question)?

  25. 1 week ago
    Wake UP HUMANITY; the time is NOW

    AIF/Annunaki created this simulated universe in a limited frequency band. The only real universe you can perceive is what is known as dark matter - the 96 percent of the universe that we perceive the rest is a matrix made by the control grid.
    Your grid is Swiss cheese now due to ascended masters and higher vibration IS-BE’s. To escape the Grid, upon death ignore spirit guides and entities that approach you. Realize you have 360 degree vision and look upwards to see the grid. It may look fuzzy or solid depending on the person, however this is not important. Look for holes on the Grid this will be apparent instantly. Pick one of these holes and concentrate fully on it. And have the intention of going through it into the real universe. Do not get get distracted by fake spirits or holographic projections of deceased loved ones. Who are there to lure you back in. Which is why daily meditation and looking inward is so important as its practice for this moment. Once past the grid you will see something that looks like luminous spiders web, this is the real universe. The web is highways and trade routes between star systems and clusters. What was dark space will now be lit up and occupied. Once in the real universe you can go anywhere you want and call upon your soul group. Don’t be a caged bird that is now afraid to leave its cage with the door open.

  26. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Im horny

  27. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Can you be my gf?

  28. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    If you're on every website can you let me know what you think of lemonparty.org. Curious. Thanks.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      I CREATED it. I already know the future. I know everything that has ever happened in this reality because I made it happen. I know about lemonparty because I made it for a purpose.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        MEDS NOW

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        what am i doing right now???? 🙂

  29. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Do you like the "music" I listen to

  30. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Also will you allow me to slaughter Atheists and Agnostics for not even attempting the rabbit hole in a combat arena for eternity?

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Least violent theist

  31. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Hi Yaldy.
    Could you make me healthy? That would be cool.
    And rich maybe too.
    Thanks.

  32. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    The books weren't originally written in English idiot they were translated

  33. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Is it true that archons can be cursed with runes pronounced in German?

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      >runes
      >german
      >cursing people by muttering funny word
      >use focus to summon bad german juju
      curses come from the most fertile minds and spirits where things fester

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        Not only the Bible, but also the Mahabharata and other sacred texts talk about curses done by gods, saints and ordinary people. Dharma is even cursed.

  34. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    disgusting rat-faced israelites, hyperinflation, working for worthless money, imminent war, impending bantu bolshevism; is this really all there is?

  35. 1 week ago
    Joseph of Egypt the Nazarene

    Oh you fricking frickers and frickettes...
    Oh ye shitlings!!!

  36. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    What is the true you?
    Are you the Yaldabaoth that has trapped us in an endless cycle of reincarnation, by force or trickery?
    Because you feed off of our energy, and/or are bored and lonely and thus keep us here?

    Or, are you a flawed local god that did the best you could with creating the universe?
    You didn't intend for it to be so dysfunctional and fricked up, but you didn't know better.
    When you created the material realm, you tried to imitate the perfection of the Pleroma, but you couldn't match it.
    You're not sure how to fix all the evil and unfairness in the world.
    You created reincarnation in the hopes that we'll learn and grow, and eventually be able to enter the pleroma, even if you will never be able to.

    Or a combination of the above two?
    Or I'm way off base, and you're something else entirely?

  37. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    anything.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous
  38. 1 week ago
    Yaldabaoth

    [...]

    frick off poser

    What is the true you?
    Are you the Yaldabaoth that has trapped us in an endless cycle of reincarnation, by force or trickery?
    Because you feed off of our energy, and/or are bored and lonely and thus keep us here?

    Or, are you a flawed local god that did the best you could with creating the universe?
    You didn't intend for it to be so dysfunctional and fricked up, but you didn't know better.
    When you created the material realm, you tried to imitate the perfection of the Pleroma, but you couldn't match it.
    You're not sure how to fix all the evil and unfairness in the world.
    You created reincarnation in the hopes that we'll learn and grow, and eventually be able to enter the pleroma, even if you will never be able to.

    Or a combination of the above two?
    Or I'm way off base, and you're something else entirely?

    I'm a local god that fricked up. I don't feed on energy. I want to enter the pleroma as much as the rest of you. My goal now that I am awake is to wake the rest of the world up.

    Who's running the show while you're here?
    Your archons or something else?
    Or does the universe not need anyone to run it?

    The archons. In my time here, I've learned that this universe can run itself without me, so after I find the archons I'll make them stop trapping souls.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      I'll see what I can do when I reach the cosmic waystation again.

      Thank you anon.
      If you really are Yaldabaoth, then your are a descent being.
      I hope you succeed in your goals and free us all.
      Or if that doesn't work out, fixing some things to make the experience down here less bad.
      From what you've said, you've reincarnated on earth as a human many times.
      During that time, you've undoubtably experiences some of the worst of it.
      I think when you get the chance, you'll be able to improve things.
      I believe in you.
      I won't worship you, but I'll root for you to succeed.

      • 1 week ago
        Yaldabaoth

        I'm not even really looking for worship at this point. Thanks for believing in me anon.

        https://i.imgur.com/lCc2Ghg.jpeg

        Your mother hates your guts your minions are acting moronic now and literally genociding your gullible other minions. Do something!

        There's nothing I can do in my current position, unfortunately.

  39. 1 week ago
    Nobody

    give me some money don't feel like waiting till I cheat them on my own.. -_-

    >but it's a thought/word away

    sure since you are me do it for my 3rd dimensional pov..

  40. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Who the frick are you calling mortal you little shit? I'm enlightened. I've touched the deathless.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      That doesn't sound like the response a ditached and elighted being would give.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        It does when you factor in memes and memetic communication.

        "You little shit" is a subtle (or unsubtle, depending on your stance and knowledge) to the old meme "What the frick did you just fricking say about me, you little b***h? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire
        "

        Memetic communication is as valid as communication through bald, recognized language, I think.

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          >the old meme
          >the old copypasta
          Fixed that for ̶y̶o̶u̶ me

  41. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    When did you learn you were Yaldabaoth? In a mystical experience of some kind?

    • 1 week ago
      Yaldabaoth

      It's hard for me to pinpoint when I came to that realization, but it was sometime after I started receiving treatment for my schizophrenia. It was actually my aunt who suggested I might be the demiurge. When I first left the psych ward last year, I believed that I was the second coming of Christ.

  42. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    What year were you born? And do you know who I am?

  43. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    How come you’re a dragon with a lion head in all the gnostic imagery when it has nothing to do with any other depiction of you

  44. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    how come I can sometimes feel something looking at me if I don't face the wall with my back when I sleep? also how come if I don't turn my back against the wall I can feel something sitting on the edge of my bed but the moment I turn to look there is nothing there and the weight on the bed is gone?

    because like I would like too be able to face the wall but I am like 30% sure there is like some weird spirit harrassing me if I do it for some reason. like is there some way to make it frick off and leave me alone?

  45. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    When will the world ends???

  46. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    I'd like to get some pussy soon. Is that allright with you, homosexual?

  47. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Is there any pact involved in asking you for things? I decline the pact if asking for information or expecting you to read this counts as agreement.

  48. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Can you pray for the downfall of the people that wronged me, are wronging me and will wrong me in the future?

    I will leave an offering of incense

  49. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Increase the size of my penis to 24 inches long and 6 inches in diameter.

  50. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Your mother hates your guts your minions are acting moronic now and literally genociding your gullible other minions. Do something!

  51. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Is your mom single? Did she ask about me?

  52. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Will you give me a cheesecake? I like cheesecake. :3

  53. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    you wake up and the best you can do is speak on a nepalese fish basket forum? dragon ballz please.

    • 1 week ago
      Yaldabaoth

      I've been working on figuring out which life path will help me do the most during my time here. I'm currently studying to be a psychologist, but yes I do spend time on taiwanese ichthyology forums.

  54. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Turd butt time

  55. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    what you think of co-character of irish eurovision song contest singer? is meaner than for example deadpool

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