esoteric focus

I'm not going to tell anyone else about this except you, /X/. I trust that you have some ideas what I am experiencing here, it was very weird and something I can do apparently on command and completely sober now. Still need more testing, but I wanted to make a thread because it fricked with my head what I was seeing because it was only something I'd ever seen while doing low amounts of psychedelics. I don't trust anyone else with this, not even friends and family

I've done psychedelics relatively speaking alot compared to how much I thought I would have but always in suboptimal doses, just enough that I can feel slight differences in my reality tunnels but not enough that it completely obfuscates my vision, thinking etc. I've grown and tried Datura, prepared Morning Glories, had tiny amounts of psilocybin, ashwagandha, alot of experience with THC, attempted ayahuasca with mimosa bark with very shit inhibitors. I've been "sober" (refrained from smoking weed) for the last 8+ months. Been eating Lions mane mushrooms raw and dried that I got from an Asian market. NONE of these have broken me through into other dimensions or changed my vision except very subtly on psilocybin and for 3-6 second brief moments on Morning Glories (And was never consistent; it threw me into a flame-fractal dimension both times it did anything that powerful)

Earlier I was meditating in a circle of trees and fixated my vision on a single object (the color of which object was white). I fixated my mind on the object/color, and everything else in my vision started to become fractalized exactly like the mushrooms/morning glories. If I focused hard enough, I could see the "world" breathing as I breathed and it was not just a simple matter of my relative movement going up and down; it was real, it was psychedelic, but I've been completely sober. Not even any of the doses I've taken of the other substances have been able to sustain that visual, mental effect or feeling for more than moments

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  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    do you think the fricking Lions mane has anything to do with it? The meditation itself? The place I was meditating? The fixation? I believe it was the focus personally, it was so powerful though. It allowed me access to deep internalized thoughts as well and the ability to let go. Nothing has ever reached that level of focus plus distortion that staring in a gaze for 10 minutes gave. I'm excited if I can recreate this. But if I can't then I'm going to need to recreate circumstances. Weather patterns, Lions mane consumption, optical focus, emotional states. I can't tell what it is. Whatever it is it felt very spiritual and allowed me to just casually slip into another layer of reality on command which I thought was totally impossible to reach

    took nothing, reached something just by slowing down and staring blankly like an autistic fricking moron. wtf? what even is the implications of this? that you can just perform magic and shit at will? i'm honestly baffled. if it was a warmer day I would have spent way longer out there just staring at the white object

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I am not sure if its common but i can tell you youre not alone as ive also exerienced this too. I meditate a lot

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Visuals you had are synesthesia of the gut. Pay attention.
      I'm always disappointed when people don't figure this on their own.
      Anyways, yeah, your brain gets more data to make more connections, it's an useful cognitive tool for creatives especially.

      Its called Hallucinatory Persistent Perception Disorder anon..

      It's unresolved synesthesia, your brain is allowing sensory input from something other than the 5 senses but cannot translate it to cognition so it attempts visual representation. Ironically the easiest way to get rid of it is to take more drugs and train yourself to process this data more as thoughts and less as visuals

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alice_in_Wonderland_syndrome

    you have brain damage

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Projection

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        have a nice day homosexual

        I've heard of this but this doesn't indicate anything relevant to what I experienced or have experienced before. The fractals are alot more subtle than I can describe, but strong enough that I can't ignore them after I've "charged" them up with the fixation. If I avert my eyes away from the white object, the color "distortion" disappears, but no depth perception changes. My reflexes still activated when something sudden changes in the environment (a leaf changing lighting or a squirrel moving across the grass). It's just sitting still and fixating. Everywhere else is completely observably normal

        Ok, if you don't think you have AWS then

        >Look at the wall.
        >Unfocus your vision.
        >Try to see with your peripheral vision
        >Continue until you see multiple copies of the world
        >Try to see more until you see the pure brain data
        >Technically you're now directly observing neighbouring neurons
        >This is a chain reaction
        >It builds permanent pathways
        >Bring yourself back to the real world
        >You're feeling weird, as if you were multiple beings at once
        >Merge with yourself, you'll know how intuitively
        >Your whole body should feel numb
        >Your field of vision should feel massive
        >Congrats you just gained about 20 IQ points

        see if this works

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Little angry boi, everything you type returns back to you 10x

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I've heard of this but this doesn't indicate anything relevant to what I experienced or have experienced before. The fractals are alot more subtle than I can describe, but strong enough that I can't ignore them after I've "charged" them up with the fixation. If I avert my eyes away from the white object, the color "distortion" disappears, but no depth perception changes. My reflexes still activated when something sudden changes in the environment (a leaf changing lighting or a squirrel moving across the grass). It's just sitting still and fixating. Everywhere else is completely observably normal

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Very cool anon, i also had a similar experience when doing meditation looking at a point sober, i start seeing things moving as if i was on mushrooms, but the fact that you felt animism, how you describe how the world “breathes with you” i could only get that sensation of inanimate things being conscious with mushrooms

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I started crying during the peak of it and it only made it stronger, when i say it was psychedelic i mean it was intense and totally self-induced activated, it made me feel as though there were parts in my mind that were not wanting to receive unto themselfs and so are hidden or trapped (blocked) off away from the rest of the systems operating in my mind, processes all clogged up by modern life. And the visuals were just catalysts for the thoughts, and vice versa, they needed eachother, without the visuals the thoughts would become rigid again, it was the sign that I was peering into something bigger i believe

      https://i.imgur.com/ZmjX2aC.jpg

      Projection

      Yeah honestly it is some sort of projection thing going on, it felt very much like I was receiving all of the atoms, molecules, patterns etc. from the grass trees surroundings as one seamless fractal but it was not moving in a spectacular way, only a subtle, flowing way, the way that i have always imagined mushrooms to be like but never took high enough doses to comprehend. i just didn't think at all that it was possible for even a moment to just slip into that mode so easily without playing with fire (experimenting with drugs). my thought process is that since I've experienced subtle variations of this in the past with drugs i am familiar now with what i am looking for trying to achieve the same results without any substances and my mindbodyemotionspirit circuits are just going through already dug tunnels. i cant do this around people, and i dont know yet if i can do this inside. but it's not something easy to forget about (routine returns to this state and incorporation of it into daily life)

      I am not sure if its common but i can tell you youre not alone as ive also exerienced this too. I meditate a lot

      i am also thinking that every person is capable of this to varying degrees

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I can do this, but it's not "fractalized" as much as everything around the focus point just becomes "darker".

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Its called Hallucinatory Persistent Perception Disorder anon..

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    The thing is with all these psychedellic things, there is no meaning behind anything. It feels overwhelmingly cool with your senses and emotions and whatever, you "felt" meaning; but you cannot soberly in simple terms answer me the meaning of life. You just tell me to go into the same emotional confusion, i.e meditate or take shrooms. What am I supposed to do; nobody cares to answer me because they have died in a flood of experience and only tell me to die with them.

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