Crisis of faith- AGAIN

Hey fellow /x/ philes, for the past 5 years of my life I've been diving deeper into gnosticism(thanks to persona 5 go figure) , and now I'm.beginning to change.

I was so convinced that this material world is fake, dumb and bullahit (growing up Jehovahs witness sort of prepped my subconscious for that)

But after being aggressively saved from a suicide attempt by a stranger, a random heartfelt talk from my dad and his memories of me and my brother as little toddlers, along with my girlfriend expressing how much she needs me
(Along with seeing 11:11 in sharpie on a wall in a dream with archangel Michael above it) made my mind go dare I say thundere, as in I know deep down I am touched by these kind people and all of the love and support (along with the confusing idea that the universe is NOT against me, nor wants me dead or suffering)

But that prideful and angry part of my mind is trying to cling to gnosticism

Anyone else ho through a weird spiritual crisis like this?

I feel like I've spent the past few years of my life internally acting like an angry spiteful teenager at existence even though I'm 25svnv

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  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Just stop being a b***h

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >gnosticism(thanks to persona 5 go figure
    Yea no thanks

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    you can appreciate your family and the beauty of humanity society and spirituality while still knowing le material is fake, anon.
    All of what you've referred to are instances of le divinity (other people, especially) leaking into zee material
    The knowledge of this reality being fake is supposed to be used in regards to spiritual pursuit and study, as reality being not an absolute truth means it can be very easily subverted and controlled, and risen above, that is th point of that revelation, and it's proven via active practice and refinement of your methods. *And, reality being manipulated, means it can also be made better for yourself, and others.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Yeah a mushroom trip I had showed my life as a supernatural VR simulation being played by beings of light (one being me apparently)

      I was sp fixated on THAT revelation that I tend to gloss over the fact that these gray clay figure looking beings woth visors matched to me (administrators?) And demanded to male sure that I "do good"

      He kept asking WILL YOU DO GOOD and I just said yeah sure and then I opened my eyes to see some other visuals

      How does one do good when the evil forces of the world control everything right down from your bank account, your access to good and Healthcare, hell even this thread (look up lifelogs)

      I wanna save the world in one fell, mighty swoop, I don't care how "childish" it is, I want to bring that euphoria of life ,to everyone and end pointless suffering

      But it feels like a one man uphill battle against the fricking world government from one piece

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        magic you silly, lmao

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          gnostics had genuine spiritual practices, it's just thaur nearly all records of them were destroyed
          it was not purely theory or philosophy

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >How does one do good when the evil forces of the world control everything right down from your bank account
        lol, just do it to spite all the evil

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          And how?

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I'm not sure I understand the problem at all. Maybe you're just a bit confused about what gnosticism is?

    Everything you described as having value is non-material. None of that is of the world.
    The world will tell you love doesn't even exist, that it's just chemicals in a "brain". The world and its rules are trying to control and dominate everything you just described as having value.
    Instead of spending more time with those people doesn't the world split you up all day long? Doesn't it make you go to work, or to school, or to do some other dumb thing?

    Gnosticism isn't some edgy idea that the ultimate reality is bad. The gnostic view is actually overwhelmingly positive, it's saying that true reality is beyond the illusion of the material things trying to impose limitations on what's real.
    Rejecting the world is not about rejecting those real things, it's about rejecting the idea that they're bound to limitations.

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    It's gnosis, but not the one you were thought. The name "Druid" means "Dru true vid knowledge" as in gnosis, and gnosticism is how a Druid becomes an inmortal God. You see, it's not about rejection of nature, but it's worshipping.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      This gnosis felt confusing since it seemed more like in re-EMBRACING the material world rather than "ascending" or "rejecting" it as I thought

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >444 angel digits
        I suppose I'll focus more on being more open to the world again

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    people always think the demiurge is evil but people rarely think about ITS creator, the Urge, who totally saw all this shit coming but didn't seem to give a duck about it.

    That Sophia aeon though, man. What a wise and nice lady. The irony is that wisdom in the bible is described as a woman that makes God want her, cus his first wife, silence, is kind of an uncaring b***h.

    This whole notion is mostly what turns me off from gnosticism. The idea that God goes around fricking his children to make more random bullshit pagan ideations is repulsive, as is the idea that Jesus was secretly a demon all along.

    Hard to down the notion that looking at this the finite realm with grandeur and happiness shouldn't be meet with happiness what with all the death murder whatever.

    Personally I solve the question of suffering by remembering that Michael's war in Heaven essentially means that in order to live in love and light for truly infinite time we needed to know for ourselves that we would turn back over to God desire what the devil would do to us.

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