Anyone else struggle with connections or feel like Neo in the Matrix at the start of the movie just lost in life looking for meaning?

Anyone else struggle with connections or feel like Neo in the Matrix at the start of the movie just lost in life looking for meaning? I feel that way now, I just cycle between work and home. I don't talk to anyone outside of work and immediate family. I am a Christian but I haven't been going to church. I struggle to make the jump from acquaintances to friends. I don't know what it is, I'm probably lacking some social skill or there's something else I don't see but I can't build strong connections. I'll give an example, I started at a new job two years ago with multiple others. Over time I've gotten friendly with many of my fellow employees and the ones I was hired with and we make small talk, jokes, etc. Work friends I suppose. Thing is, many of these work friends started texting each other which turned into a regular thing and then they began to hang out outside of work. The process or how that happens is almost a foreign concept to me. I'm not included or invited, although everyone's still friendly at work. What do you guys think it could be? I am kinda autistic, not very expressive, monotone, probably undiagnosed autism or schizoid. It probably shouldn't surprise you that I haven't had much success with women either (only been on two dates with a girl who asked me out, never asked a girl out due to fear/anxiety). Any advice how to open up? I'm fine and comfortable being on my own, I have been for 26 years, but I want to branch out and live life to its fullest. I want to find greater meaning and fulfillment

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  1. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >i desire social acceptance

    But why? I despise other people, if i could killswitch this planet i would in a heart beat.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >i desire social acceptance
      >if i could killswitch this planet i would in a heart beat
      These statements aren't mutually exclusive. You can want to killswitch the planet but also want to avoid feeling of loneliness in the meantime.

  2. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I have the feeling I was a lot like you and it took me a long time to figure this out. I never gave off cues, like I even had the slightest interest in being friends with anybody. Even though I might have wanted to. I was always pretty distant. I wasn't really afraid to approach other people, other people were afraid of being rejected by me. I never gave them any indication that I would do anything but reject them. And when you're like that, people just stay arm's length from you.

    I don't know you well enough that I can say that's the case. But I suspect it. If you like working with somebody, say so. if you had fun playing horseshoes with somebody at the company picnic, tell them. Tell them you'd like to play again sometime. It's not that hard to tell people you like them, and enjoy being around them. Which encourages them to have you around. You just have to make a habit of doing it.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >not the anon
      I feel just like this wow. Most people are genuinely scared to be around me, or find some excuse to run away from me. Most women that have showed interest in me just saw me as a sex object and nothing more. And yet I love making people laugh and helping others... I've wronged people and I make mistakes. I always wondered how, without Divine Intervention, couples can even meet seeing as most of us are just busy with work and after that we are so tired we just wanna lay down. I never understood that. There has to be some metaphysical force to it. Even male to male friendships dont make sense to me; I sense most of them rise out of convenience and arent really that deep or meaningful. I feel like most sexual relationships are like this aswell. They always say whoever starts walking his path will be lonely. For 20 years I'm walking hoping to find someone.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        What if I told you I'm in the same boat except I'm almost 30, female and had no real friends since I left school?
        And that my family have been torn apart. My mom is dead.
        It doesn't get any easier that's what. It's kind of harder actually - as a female you are expected to be sociable and friendly to others. If you aren't other females especially just see you as either autistic or weird.
        And male friends, that's out of the question completely

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Have you considered church? If most of your interests are male dominated and you can't connect with females over that maybe get close to God. At least with females I feel you can play off autism by just being shy/reserved, males can't get away with that have to mask it in other ways

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I am religious, I know this sounds dumb but I honestly have no idea how the churches even work around here. I also hate going outside.
            I always thought it was easier for a guy to be that way, they are seen as just mysterious and is a masculine trait.
            If you don't fit in with other females you are rejected by society as a whole

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I always thought women had it easy. You have dating apps and all that crap. The women in my country as soon as they hit 17 they literally have a full Colosseum of men they can pick from. And they just swap men after men. Even the fricked up women get attention. Idk

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      That might be part of it, I certainly can be distant but at the same time when I try to be outgoing, friendly, and social I still can't blend in all the way. Its like I'm shadow banned irl. I can socialize, have conversations without issue but I never get invited anywhere, make friends/connections, exchange phone numbers, etc.

  3. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I'd say you will have a different path that is not as impossible as it seems. If you ask and simply allow God to work through you by doing everything out of love and honesty you will be set and attracted to the correct direction, once again, as long as it is out of love. It's the cosmic law. You can only will through love first and this will create everything you need in life.

    God will work through you in a way you probably can't predict. Try your best to avoid anxiety and really anything negative. I like to look at myself as my brain which allows me to learn mechanical things, kind of like a maintained path that is decent and reliable but nothing special to help keep me upright on the path.

    Then I think of my true self and connection to you, everyone, and God most of all. This is your consciousness that connected you to your brain and body that is being used to help us all grow and learn from each other. Giving credit to God and avoiding crediting your ability through ego you can live with God's purpose which will probably be even greater and more enjoyable than what you could do without Him.

    Love and give as much as you can. We often compare ourselves and others over what they have and what they don't. Both material and factors that make our lives easier or more difficult. If you have way more than other people and you don't give you will be miserable. Give all you can even if you only have love. Don't send yourself to skid row but just be honest, give, and love. Don't get down on yourself and think you are stuck as this particular person. You will grow without realizing.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Thank you for the reply anon, you are completely correct. I haven't been living correctly in the sense that I shut myself up in the house out of anxiety/insecurity and am guilty of sloth. I haven't been doing what God wants me to do, I haven't been seeking fellowship, being charitable, reading the Bible as much as I should, etc. Everything in your post is correct, for me I just need to get started somewhere and get the ball rolling

  4. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    yeah but i have autism and OCD. it is what it is

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It is what it is, but its not a reason to give up on our goals. Mine is listed in the OP

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Same… yep.

  5. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    DEMORALIZATION THREAD
    YOU KEEP POSTING THIS THREAD OVER AND OVER AGAIN
    TO THE OVEN!

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Not demoralization, looking for remoralization. Go back to EerieWeb

  6. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    discord 5AUSZ2AV

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Trannies on Discord

  7. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    friends are overrated. get a dog.

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